I'm in a strange place. Very strange.
Rich just ended his blog, just like that. No discussion with me, he just did it. He seems pleased, as if he did a good thing, for me..I don't see it that way. It feels to me as if he did it to keep himself out of trouble. His blog is important to me. I may not have liked his comments all the time, but at least I knew how he was feeling. Also, ending his blog is, I think, a very drastic and unnecessary measure. If he's my slave, shouldn't he have discussed it with me?
Rich hates the RLV lock down and it is not working. He tells me it is building resentment, then he tells me he loves me and will suffer it. He tells me he thinks it is too harsh and unfair. Why am I being told these things? It makes me feel as if he wants to be a slave on HIS terms, not mine. A slave cannot and should not, resent his Mistress. He says he will endure it for as long as he must and will not mention it again. He tells me he loves me and hopes to serve me later today. All I feel is that he is manipulating me and behaving like a spoilt child.
I hear no remorse, no apology, no humility, no begging forgiveness, no desperate plea to keep him...but then if he feels he is the wronged one, why would I?
Where is the man who craved slavery? Who had no issues with doing anything for his Mistress as long as it made her happy? Is he still there, somewhere deep inside?........I hope so.
Yes, this place I am in is new and strange, and a little frightening.
Billy Ocean 'When the Going Gets Tough' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_e2D2qsaso&feature=related
I hope deep inside he is still there also. The first real punishments are always tough. Anyone would think we(Dommes) enjoy to punish when it is hurtful to us also...sighs.
ReplyDelete*hugs* and I am crossing my fingers for a good outcome
i am still here and still just as submissive my Mistress. Just an idiot sometimes. I am very sorry for causing angst for You lately. I will turn it around. And for the blog, if You wish i will continue it. i was totally wrong for not consulting you first. It was awesome to get to be in your presence for a little while today. Later, as i read the blog a feeling of very deep sadness came over me as i did not realize that i had caused you grief like that my Mistress.I will definitely make whatever changes and adjustments i must make to be the kind of slave You want Mistress.
ReplyDeleteSadly, but luckily at the same time, that strange place You are in is called earth, Miss Destiny. Earth, with the height of splendour for the amazing things that invariably happen (You just need to watch), and the depth of sorrow for the other things that disappoint us. But sadness can't exist without joy, and viceversa. Catullo, more than 2000 years ago, depicted that in a incomparable way...
ReplyDeleteOdi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
(I hate and I love. Why do I do this, perhaps you ask?
I know not, but I feel it happening and I am tortured.)
You just need (if i may say) to go on fighting. And what will be worth, will last.
Hugs
kollo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCX3LmUdHcI
(....com'รจ difficile trovare l'alba dentro l'imbrunire...)