A bad start for us both, my puppet....

Picture the scene: Timewise, I'm six hours ahead of Texas. This morning, I know Rich is not working, I know he's feeling a lot better. It's around noon, I've been up for three hours. I'm on my computer, surfing, blogging, mailing etc. I see he logs onto Yahoo Messenger then off again. He comes back two hours or so later. I'm a bit pissed that he didn't email/message or greet when he woke up, which has always been what he does when he is out on the road. I may be being unreasonable, but it's how I'm feeling. Then, when he does greet me on Messenger, I tell him that I'm surprised he didn't message me earlier when he awoke. He has no excuse, no reason, he was just getting on with his day. Rich is independent  and in many respects, he has to be - we are thousands of miles apart. However, waking up to message your owner, either by text/Yahoo or email is not something I think is an unreasonable demand or expectation. In fact, I know he has mentioned before on his own blog how he messages me first thing in the morning and last thing at night to get his mind set and focused on me. So this morning I guess I felt as if he did what he needed to do, his usual routine and then, when he decided, not me, he greets me, ready to serve. I'm busy doing something else by this time and he seems surprised that I don't require his service. That felt like he was expecting me to stop what I was doing to give him my time before he went out for the day. For a moment, just briefly, I thought, 'Who is serving who here?'. I'm tired, recovering from flu, and feeling generally down about situations I can't control, such as my son, and now this damn distance that vastly changes our perspectives.

I know that I am demanding, I know I expect a lot, but I also know that Rich does not want or need a part-time Mistress who turns it on and off. I am making no apologies for being who I am. Yes, this is a long-distance 'virtual' relationship for now - but it isn't going to be only virtual for much longer and if he doesn't shape up now and stick to my pretty simple demands, what hope is there for the future in real life?

I was actually fine with it this morning, I am giving him a lot of leeway due to his health and he did text me later apologising for upsetting me, Now, having read his blog, I'm seeing that he is upset about it, so I felt the need to set the balance here, for Rich to read, but also for anyone who reads both blogs, so that you can see how something relatively simple can create strong feelings and differences of opinions on both sides of the D/s fence, so to speak.

My puppet and I have several minor issues, all about his obedience and my control, which will all be ironed out, for better or worse, face to face next February. I have said this before and I will say it again now, the time difference/distance between us is our enemy and I am not going to let a simple thing like that beat me and/or destroy what is potentially the most fulfilling personal relationship that either he or I have ever had.

Disagreements and painful emotions are never fun. However, it's all part of the growth process and it's all good, healthy stuff. It's hard work, but I'm not about to give up, because the major stuff, the big stuff, is all great and good between us and that is what really matters,

Oleta Adams 'Get Here' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h2UVJiIhNk&feature=related