Back from Holiday

Well, that was a long eight days! My stepmother is a very selfish and demanding woman. I vow to never subject myself to a holiday with her again. Every day it was her way in all things, her decisions about everything. Can you imagine how hard that was to tolerate? Out of respect to my deceased father and as a charitable act, I accompanied her to Lake Como, but it was a very tough ordeal, more so than I can explain here. I dreaded every meal time, as she did nothing but look at other people and comment on their eating habits or their attire, just really soul-destroying, bitter, unkind stuff that leaves me feeling wretched. We would rise every day when she said so, and the light was turned out at night when she decided to sleep. My needs were never enquired after or considered. It took ALL my strength and composure not to get into an almighty argument with her. I just kept telling myself that the days would soon be over.

Thankfully, I had some internet connection via my iPhone, so I was able to have contact with Sweeney and with others I love and care about. That helped a lot when I was feeling down, but was also frustrating as it  made me miss him more and miss home more.

On the upside, Lake Como is beautiful, I will include a couple of pics I took at the bottom of the blog. There were moments of enjoyment, but in all honestly, they were rare.

I got home late Wednesday night and had a short time with Sweeney, but it was 2am, I was tired and he wasn't feeling so good, so we properly reunited on Thursday night. 

The past few days since then have been a mixture of unbridled joy to be back with my love and frustration that we are so far apart. Couple that with a feeling of despondency that I'm still carrying from the holiday and the result is that I have been very demanding and unreasonable towards Sweeney. I have to stop it, and get back to where I was, and I will. I know I'm not myself because I feel sad and tearful and just tired all the time. I think the menopause is also partly to blame, but I am not going to let that control my life. I have much to be thankful for - not least of which is the fact that Sweeney will be here in 15 days time! I just can't wait for the 22nd August to arrive. There is so much pressure on us trying to maintain a close relationship online, when we have other things pulling us away frequently. I know that he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him and I also know that my unreasonableness is partly due to the frustrations of having to fit our time in with both our schedules. It's also not ideal to have to conduct a relationship by sitting at a computer for hours and hours every day. We talked about this and realised that it's probably the most frustrating part of being together (or being apart, as the case may be). I want to do the normal little things with him, the everyday stuff of life, not just the magical stuff of Second Life. 

Anyway, this is a hard time and I am grateful that Sweeney is patient and understanding. I am going to pull myself out of this funk I'm in and stop wallowing in self-pity. I have much to be thankful for - mostly that I have an amazing submissive who will soon be at my feet for real. 

To Sweeney: I love you so much, my boy. Thank you for putting up with my grumpy, demanding mood of late. Thank you for believing in me, in us and hurry up and get here so I can smile again and show you what you mean to me :) Listen to the words: Take That - Rule the World http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KII1ruAfvsg

Lake Como: