Feeling Proud

Yesterday was simply one of those days that I know will stay forever burned in my heart and mind. The Vagina Monologues at The Dominion was not simply another creative event by a group of talented people. It was absolutely, jaw-droppingly amazing. As Eva said, an historic day in The Dominion's history! I had worked very very hard, for many weeks, to prepare, cast and rehearse the show, I put my heart and soul into the project because it was so important to me. The monologues are written by women from all walks of life, from all over the world; women who have had privileged lives, housewives, career women, as well as women who have suffered the most horrific, heinous abuse. Some of the monologues are very funny, some very moving and of course, there were some that that ladies of the Dominion wrote themselves, which seamlessly flowed throughout the whole show. Many people came to watch, but of course, many people didn't get to see it, so we are going to perform again in the next month or so. I hope that everyone who missed it, will get a chance to witness this aweseome event. I am so proud to know so many wonderful women.

I want to publicly thank: Maisy, Eloise, Violet, Sue, Zaira, Siofra, Una, Miyani, the amazing and very talented cast of The Dominion Vagina Monologues, who were committed to making the show a success - Ladies, you did it and you were and are awesome! I know that you all have other lives that keep you busy and some of you, my dear friends Maisy and Eloise, in particular, are suffering really hard times with severe health issues effecting you and/or your loved ones. That you were able to show up, let alone take part, given all the odds working against you is a testament to your strength, commitment, loyalty and determination. I cannot find words to show my admiration and love for you. Thank you.

I also want to thank Silk Arcana, who has been there to help me, as always, with practical things as well as being there to listen to me rant. Without Silk,  the whole production, as well as my SL life, would have been the poorer. He is a rare gem and holds a special place in my heart.

During The Vagina Monologues, my screen was covered with notecards, but occasionally I looked at the names in the crowd and felt a sadness that a few people I love were missing; some have left SL, or are still around but couldn't be at the event. I missed sharing with them what was, for me, my Dominion crowning glory. I hope that some of those special people get to see it the next time we perform.

Turning to life away from SL, I had really good news this week. My eldest son who had had so many problems with addiction, has been clean for almost two months, no Methadone, no substitutes, nothing. He is a different person. When we talk, I can hear it in his voice, when I look at him, I can see the change. This week he got his first flat, no more hostel life, and he is being enrolled on a training course to improve his employment chances.  I am cautiously optimistic and very proud of him.

Also this week, my middle son went through a very lengthy and gruelling four-stage application and interview process to land a job at Barclays Bank. I am delighted and again, very proud. His future should be much more secure, which means my grandchildren will be provided for. That gives me a huge sense of comfort and relief.

Overall, it's been a long, tiring and very emotionally draining week, such highs and lows. I had a severe migraine a couple of days ago - no wonder, with all that's been going on.

In three weeks time I will be with Eloise in Dallas. Wow! The time has flown by. I'm really looking forward to that. I need a break, to get away from my routine, to experience another culture and, most importantly, to share quality time with a special woman. Rich and I have exchanged emails about my trip and I am really looking forward to meeting him too. It was very hard to move on after the events of last November, but I hold no bitterness, anger or resentment towards him, it happened. We are human, we fall, but of course our strength lies in getting back up. Not only that, I also believe that true strength lies in forgiveness and compassion. In genuinely being able to find peace and an inner stillness in letting negative feelings go and holding on fiercely to the good, the positive ones!

This week, I also had a difficult meeting with a group of friends where we talked about issues and concerns we were having with the attitude and behaviour of one of our friends (who was also there). It is not always easy to say hard things to people you care about. It's even harder to hear those things being said if they are about you. I came away from that meeting with a renewed respect for my friends and with a deeper understanding of them and of myself. Meetings like those cause us to self-reflect and that is something we should never stop doing. We are always quick to criticise others, but without looking in the mirror, examining our own faults and failings, how can we be critical of others? How can we exact change if we walk through life believing we are always right? As dominant women, it can be  hard to accept that we are wrong, or that we need to work on ourselves, but I believe we need to be continually inward looking so that we can be role models to others and, most importantly, live a more harmonious life.

Here's a beautiful song from one of my favourite artists ever - it's full of hope and love. The lyrics are beautiful and speak to me about dreams and hopes, about never giving up. Stevie Wonder, 'Overjoyed' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkWQTAU3JzI