Beyond Happy

I have no idea where this blog will go today, or how I will express my feelings, so I'm just going to blurt everything out and see what happens!

Yesterday, I took Sweeney into my full collar and we partnered. I am still in shock. It may be SL, but my feelings are very RL. Most importantly, Sweeney will be here to stay with me for a week or so next month and we will cement our relationship in the flesh.

This past month with Sweeney has been my happiest on SL and probably RL too. For the first time ever, I do not want nor need any other submissives wearing my collar. He truly completes me in every way. He is the dream boy I wrote about, but now he is real. I could not be happier.

I have made many mistakes in my search for my dream boy, I have made others fit, or tried to, struggling against time zones and unworkable RL situations. I have had genuine happiness where several boys served my different needs, in different ways. I have loved and continue to love some very special submissives who have touched my life. All of that and all of those people who helped me, sometimes unwittingly, brought me to this place and I am so grateful. If I hadn't had the heartbreaks and the disappointments, I would not have had the emotional growth to be where I am right now. I can honestly say, today, that I regret nothing, not even the things that pained me so much just a few weeks and months ago.

I know, more than anyone, how difficult it is to make a long distance relationship work, especially with different time zones, work schedules etc. The fact that Sweeney works very early morning and then again in his evening is perfect for us, it has enabled us to spend several hours, every day, getting to know each other. I am not so woolly headed that I think we would have thrived with a stolen moment here and there.

Relationships need time, I am eternally grateful that mine with Sweeney, although whirlwind and fast, has been one where, so far, we have had spent a lot of time together every day. We will continue our journey online and then in real life and see where it takes us. Those who know me well, know that I will follow my dream, wherever it leads, in my pursuit of happiness.

So, why did I partner Sweeney? That's not something my friends have seen before. I partnered him because he is my one, he is my love. We have an amazing relationship where he is always submissive, I am always dominant, yet we are totally in love in a romantic way too. Some people fear that if they become romantically involved the D/s/BDSM aspect of their relationship may suffer. This is just not how it has to be. If anything, I am harsher, firmer and more dominant with Sweeney than I have ever been with anyone. I am also more protective, possessive and loving than I have ever been before. Partnering Sweeney is my way of showing him and the rest of the world, that he completes me as a Dominant and as a woman.

Meeting in real life is something that we have to do and is a natural step for us. We have talked about the 'what ifs' and are not naive about how different things are in real life. I have had the experience of that several times and am fully prepared. I do know that the chemistry between Sweeney and I is like nothing I've known before and that his submission, intellect, humour, devotion, integrity and honour are without question. We webcam and talk face to face. There are no big shocks ahead in that regard. We love the real people behind our SL avatars, it is so important to never lose sight of that. SL is an amazing platform to meet and explore, it is  where some of my greatest hopes and disappointments have occurred. It's also where some of my closest, yet physically remotest, friends exist. However, I want my boy with me in my real life, I want to touch him, play with him, hold him in my arms and love him in the flesh. I want to look into his eyes and see his love for me. I want to see his anguish as I tease and torment him. I want to witness his humiliation at my words and deeds. I want to taste his tears as I push him further and further. I want to see him sweat as he works to obey me and then, I want to see his smile when he knows he has pleased me. I want to grow with him as a Domme and as a person. I will work to make this work and I know he will too. It's scary to be this in love and know that there are some steep hurdles ahead of us, but  moreover, it's exciting and thrilling. I have no doubt that Sweeney and I will give our all to each other in every way to take this relationship where it is destined to go. We are committed to each other, above all others and that's what matters most.

For my boy, my love, my life: 'Amazed' by Lonestar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L27KqRVZPwA